Choosing Failure

by Jared Cohen

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1.
(free) 03:41
i was waiting for you right here at the bottom of the sea you were waiting for something, anything but me no one knows how it started but that’s how it’s gonna be make a flag, waive it overhead for everyone to see waive it proudly i was real but you weren’t real and there’s nothing left of it here so that’s all it ever was it all started with a question: what comes at the end but turns out you’re never gonna know when you begin raising hands, and i’m asking, looking for a sign even when it’s written everywhere, shining like a light shining bright i was real but you weren’t real and there’s nothing left of it here so that’s all it ever was everything you spent those years waiting for you turned around but never found the open door memories and never-were’s all crumbling sure signs that you must believe that…
2.
(free) 07:02
When I met you I felt lucky to be In the presence of such unusual brilliance But the image fades fast and the light shining through doesn’t last Made it easy to see right through the pretense Few hits before a gig, man it's no big deal There’s always a few guys out behind the venue But showing up loaded and then loading up more Only goes to show you don’t have it in you You haven't even worked for most of the 20-teens So I don't want to know how you're getting the money Because the stuff is expensive or so I believe I guess everyone finds a way to get what they're needing The part of it all that's hardest, it seems Is getting yourself out of bed in the morning But to let the ambition crumble into addiction Is easy if you just ignore all of the warnings Dreaming up stuff that’s so far ahead Of anyone else around you’d call a equal And it sits and goes nowhere because dreaming is easy But action takes effort and excuses are even easier All I’ve been doing is just trying to find A way to turns these thoughts into an outlet It ain’t always easy, no it’s often a fight, But the only other option is to let go Thank you my friends you've really helped me out I wish I could give you all some points on the record But zero from zero is still nothing i guess So I'm really just hoping any of this will get heard
3.
(free) 04:07
4.
(free) 04:04
cause i've got 2 wheels that won't get me too far from you with the big hills in this new town i see you looking back at me from where you're sitting and i don't know if we'll ever end up here again take a deep breath and walk around the city a while and wonder when you’re coming back and i don’t know what i’ve what i’m doing and i don’t know if we’ll ever end up here again we’re running out of space we’ve left behind the race there’s no road ahead everything has hit the ground and what had once been finally found reminds us both of where we haven’t been
5.
(free) 03:56
it wasn’t the first time but it was a good time for us and we laughed there and we cried there and it was what we said it would be what we thought it could be but if you can’t keep on chasing what i’m out erasing cause the light coming through isn’t shining on me but it’s making things here easier to see and you want to know that every word is true when I turn around and the only thing there’s you it’s all lined up now but the scenery somehow doesn’t fit ‘cause the window was open but there was always something, wouldn’t stick and you can’t force the good times on the bad times, it’s all wrong when the darkness is on the horizon…
6.
i’m trying hard to stay positive but it’s difficult, and i don’t know what it is even when things are good something inside pulls even when things look up i can’t help but look for holes i’m wondering what all it meant is there something in me? is it something that’s just always been? falling in to dark and searching for a light but the bottom never ends and it takes me through the night and i need to know before i close my eyes will i wake up here? will i be surprised? is there anything else that can save me from myself i need to know if there’s something else
7.
(free) 02:23
The last time that we walked I could see you in the dark And it was the start because We finally realized what it was And you held me in your arms And the storm came but didn't harm While we hid out safe and sound Like there was nobody else around And I heard the sound of your voice Giving me an easy choice Spinning around the room Absorbing a simple tune Lying here wondering If the phone will ever ring The lights flash off and on Waiting for the rising sun The needle skipped the groove But we were both too scared to move
8.
(free) 03:18
maybe if we lie about all the things we want to say tonight we can forget about having to get it right but it’ll go the way that it always has gone, with no end in sight and i will walk alone down the long lonesome road from your home like every night maybe if write all the things we want to say tonight we can pretend that we’ve done any of this right and i see that the things you have asked for me to be, don’t come easily and i know, i know we are right back to where we were before so what’s the point? now we’re just going in circles we’re not getting anywhere i’m writing these words over and over and over and they’re not changing anything
9.
(free) 04:01
close your eyes and wonder what are we still doing here? i can’t even think back to the start now i’m only seeing to your fear once again you ask me if everything has been a lie and i don’t know what you want to hear it’s easier not to try who knows what i meant when i said i’d be there again everything falls in the end and with all the things i’ve been i could walk away instead of letting anybody in hold it back - don’t let it get you you’ll never make it out alive end up running around in circles you think you’re, lost but so am i ending up back where you started and wondering “why even try?” but everyone’s gotta fall down sometimes it’s how we learn that we can survive who knows what i meant when i said i’d be there again everything’s wrong in the end and with all the things i’ve been i could walk away instead of letting you back in
10.
(free) 03:20
everything here is gold so i took the open road and when all the lights went dark i couldn’t find the spark living out a dream or something in between and hoping that it all can withstand the fall i don’t see the light coming in and i don’t feel alright, i just feel the spin tearing it down just to see what we can build and wondering if the empty space ever gets filled holding a hand just enough to make a sign and i don’t know what it says but i’m sure it means you’re fine and i don’t see the difference between where you’re trying to go and what you want to be
11.
(free) 03:25
i'm trying to be brave but it's only for your sake so try not to be scared i'll stay as calm as i can get back in the car and get your hand off the shotgun i know where we are if you want to you can run and save yourself or try to save your dignity we both know you lost it long ago when you started needing me so pull out all the stops and let this one ride forever i know we're going nowhere but at least we're not going alone remember me and my foolish aspirations trying to be something no one's something these days we're all full of shit we don't even trust our own hearts we only trust the billboards and what we see on tv and save yourself or try to save your purity we both know you lost it long ago when you started needing to me so pull out all the stops and let this one ride forever i know we're going nowhere but at least we're not going alone all i’ve got now is this quickly fading memory can’t grab ahold of anything because there’s nothing left inside and you never know what is weaker and what is stronger but it all tastes pretty saccharine so why even try?
12.
(free) 03:07
everything you wanted me to be has come crashing down, made it easy to see all the things i told you to believe i was lying to you, lying through my teeth apologize til I’m blue in the face but saying sorry will never erase all the time that i forced you to waste on trying to save a soul that can't be saved and i don't know why i'm still the one who's always trying to find exactly when we're done maybe ill see everything im not in you everything you never were i see in me too

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released April 6, 2020

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Jared Cohen Fullerton, California

California rock & roll.

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