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1. |
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i was waiting for you right here at the bottom of the sea
you were waiting for something, anything but me
no one knows how it started but that’s how it’s gonna be
make a flag, waive it overhead for everyone to see
waive it proudly
i was real but you weren’t real
and there’s nothing left of it here
so that’s all it ever was
it all started with a question: what comes at the end
but turns out you’re never gonna know when you begin
raising hands, and i’m asking, looking for a sign
even when it’s written everywhere, shining like a light
shining bright
i was real but you weren’t real
and there’s nothing left of it here
so that’s all it ever was
everything you spent those years waiting for
you turned around but never found the open door
memories and never-were’s all crumbling
sure signs that you must believe that…
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2. |
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When I met you I felt lucky to be
In the presence of such unusual brilliance
But the image fades fast and the light shining through doesn’t last
Made it easy to see right through the pretense
Few hits before a gig, man it's no big deal
There’s always a few guys out behind the venue
But showing up loaded and then loading up more
Only goes to show you don’t have it in you
You haven't even worked for most of the 20-teens
So I don't want to know how you're getting the money
Because the stuff is expensive or so I believe
I guess everyone finds a way to get what they're needing
The part of it all that's hardest, it seems
Is getting yourself out of bed in the morning
But to let the ambition crumble into addiction
Is easy if you just ignore all of the warnings
Dreaming up stuff that’s so far ahead
Of anyone else around you’d call a equal
And it sits and goes nowhere because dreaming is easy
But action takes effort and excuses are even easier
All I’ve been doing is just trying to find
A way to turns these thoughts into an outlet
It ain’t always easy, no it’s often a fight,
But the only other option is to let go
Thank you my friends you've really helped me out
I wish I could give you all some points on the record
But zero from zero is still nothing i guess
So I'm really just hoping any of this will get heard
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3. |
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4. |
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cause i've got 2 wheels
that won't get me too far from you
with the big hills in this new town
i see you looking back at me from where you're sitting
and i don't know if we'll ever end up here again
take a deep breath
and walk around the city a while
and wonder when you’re coming back
and i don’t know
what i’ve what i’m doing and i don’t know
if we’ll ever end up here again
we’re running out of space
we’ve left behind the race
there’s no road ahead
everything has hit the ground
and what had once been finally found
reminds us both of where we haven’t been
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5. |
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it wasn’t the first time
but it was a good time for us
and we laughed there
and we cried there and it was
what we said it would be
what we thought it could be
but if you can’t keep on chasing what i’m out erasing
cause the light coming through isn’t shining on me
but it’s making things here easier to see
and you want to know that every word is true
when I turn around and the only thing there’s you
it’s all lined up now
but the scenery somehow doesn’t fit
‘cause the window was open
but there was always something, wouldn’t stick
and you can’t force the good times
on the bad times, it’s all wrong
when the darkness is on the horizon…
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6. |
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i’m trying hard to stay positive
but it’s difficult, and i don’t know what it is
even when things are good something inside pulls
even when things look up i can’t help but look for holes
i’m wondering what all it meant
is there something in me? is it something that’s just always been?
falling in to dark and searching for a light
but the bottom never ends and it takes me through the night
and i need to know before i close my eyes
will i wake up here? will i be surprised?
is there anything else that can save me from myself
i need to know if there’s something else
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7. |
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The last time that we walked
I could see you in the dark
And it was the start because
We finally realized what it was
And you held me in your arms
And the storm came but didn't harm
While we hid out safe and sound
Like there was nobody else around
And I heard the sound of your voice
Giving me an easy choice
Spinning around the room
Absorbing a simple tune
Lying here wondering
If the phone will ever ring
The lights flash off and on
Waiting for the rising sun
The needle skipped the groove
But we were both too scared to move
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8. |
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maybe if we lie about all the things we want to say tonight
we can forget about having to get it right
but it’ll go the way that it always has gone,
with no end in sight
and i will walk alone
down the long lonesome road from your home like every night
maybe if write all the things we want to say tonight
we can pretend that we’ve done any of this right
and i see that the things you have asked for me to be,
don’t come easily
and i know, i know we are right back to where we were before
so what’s the point?
now we’re just going in circles
we’re not getting anywhere
i’m writing these words over and over and over
and they’re not changing anything
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9. |
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close your eyes and wonder
what are we still doing here?
i can’t even think back to the start now
i’m only seeing to your fear
once again you ask me
if everything has been a lie
and i don’t know what you want to hear
it’s easier not to try
who knows what i meant when i said i’d be there again
everything falls in the end
and with all the things i’ve been i could walk away instead
of letting anybody in
hold it back - don’t let it get you
you’ll never make it out alive
end up running around in circles
you think you’re, lost but so am i
ending up back where you started
and wondering “why even try?”
but everyone’s gotta fall down sometimes
it’s how we learn that we can survive
who knows what i meant when i said i’d be there again
everything’s wrong in the end
and with all the things i’ve been i could walk away instead
of letting you back in
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10. |
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everything here is gold
so i took the open road
and when all the lights went dark
i couldn’t find the spark
living out a dream
or something in between
and hoping that it all
can withstand the fall
i don’t see the light coming in
and i don’t feel alright, i just feel the spin
tearing it down
just to see what we can build
and wondering if the empty space
ever gets filled
holding a hand
just enough to make a sign
and i don’t know what it says
but i’m sure it means you’re fine
and i don’t see the difference between
where you’re trying to go and what you want to be
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11. |
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i'm trying to be brave
but it's only for your sake
so try not to be scared
i'll stay as calm as i can
get back in the car
and get your hand off the shotgun
i know where we are
if you want to you can run
and save yourself
or try to save your dignity
we both know you lost it long ago
when you started needing me
so pull out all the stops
and let this one ride forever
i know we're going nowhere
but at least we're not going alone
remember me
and my foolish aspirations
trying to be something
no one's something these days
we're all full of shit
we don't even trust our own hearts
we only trust the billboards
and what we see on tv
and save yourself
or try to save your purity
we both know you lost it long ago
when you started needing to me
so pull out all the stops
and let this one ride forever
i know we're going nowhere
but at least we're not going alone
all i’ve got now is this quickly fading memory
can’t grab ahold of anything
because there’s nothing left inside
and you never know
what is weaker and what is stronger
but it all tastes pretty saccharine
so why even try?
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12. |
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everything you wanted me to be
has come crashing down, made it easy to see
all the things i told you to believe
i was lying to you, lying through my teeth
apologize til I’m blue in the face
but saying sorry will never erase
all the time that i forced you to waste
on trying to save a soul that can't be saved
and i don't know why i'm still the one
who's always trying to find exactly when we're done
maybe ill see everything im not in you
everything you never were i see in me too
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released April 6, 2020